A Report from Bible School (aka-Making Kids Cry)

Comments are always appreciated. It makes me feel loved and lets me know people are actually reading what I write.

So, as a few of you know, I’ve been at Vacation Bible School for every morning this week. Yes, I am bored thrilled out of my mind to be there. I’m playing a soldier back in the story room. My name’s “Brutus Flavius Macro”. Yeah, nothing stereotyped or historically incorrect about that name at all. Dear lord, I swear college has ruined me to overlooking thinks like that. And the dialogue! The dialogue is TERRIBLE! I understand that we’re doing this for kids, and that they need small, easy to understand words, but please, at least try to vary those words! I’ve been making stuff up to replace the worst of it. Anyways, my part has had me ‘gruff and grumpy’ for the past three days. Today I got to be a little nicer, but I still want better dialogue.

I guess I should tell you that there are two parts to our little story time. There’s “Paul and Brutus” in the house where Paul is, and then there’s the “cave” of underground Christians, where the kids regurgitate what we (Paul and Brutus) have talked about, and have the ideas explained a little more to them. Today, though, they were talking about how the Christians were arrested and Christianity was suppressed because the Christians wouldn’t worship the emperor. (This is true, by the way, but for totally different reasons than they were giving at Bible school. The Jews were suppressing Christianity not because they felt it threatened their religion, but because while the Roman government allowed existing religions to continue, they strictly forbid the development of new religions. Also, the Christians in Rome denied the emperor, and therefore were seen as treacherous and possibly rebellious, therefore they were dangerous. They were not rounded up because they refused to worship the emperor. Who am I to dispute hundreds of years of dogma with facts, though?)

So, on to the fun part, making kids cry. During the second half of the skit, my mom and I were supposed to be roman guards who almost check the cave the kids are in, but don’t. The lines still aren’t very good, and we ended us speaking with really country accents to disguise our voices so the kids wouldn’t recognize us as Paul and Brutus. We did our part quickly for the first group and hurried back to Paul’s room so we’d be there when the kids came out of the cave. At least one kid in the cave started to cry and all of them were rather rather traumatized. Debi, the adult in the other section had to explain to them that it wasn’t real outside to calm them down. I started laughing as soon as they left.

I guess this is just another little sign that I should never ever have kids. I would mess the little buggers up so badly they wouldn’t know which way was safe to turn. Anyways, only one more day left. Mom and I are going out to eat Chinese tomorrow after it’s all over. And Saturday we are going to the book fair, so I guess that’s good payment for what I have gone through.

In story related news, I’m doing a first edit on Calling down the Rain to make it tighter before I start trying to fiddle with the wording and rhythm.

Remember, a tear today is a year in therapy tomorrow.

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One comment

  1. Sounds like it’s very interesting! (especially the scaring children part. 😉 ) Yeah, you do kinda have to dumb it down for the kids, but that’s just dealing with children in general. Some are quite smart, but the clarity of it can be helpful. Sure it’ll come together nicely in the finale.

    And book fairs are fun. 😀 Hope you find a lot of good ones there!

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