The semester has begun again, and so it is once again time for the Monday Night Movie review. Tonight for our viewing pleasure we have Logan’s Run, a classic of Science Fiction cinema. You shall now get “Commentary as we go”.
Okay, first we find out that everyone dies at age 30. So yes, next we meet the jerk of the story, Logan, and follow him into an arena. Well that’s a little trippy, we have floating people in leotards. Can anyone say Peter Pan? Except you have a mix of Gladiator and Friday the 13th thrown in for good measure. Yes, they’re wearing what amounts to hockey masks as they’re drawn up into the sky to their deaths. And the crowd is cheering them on. Yes, they’re willingly going to their deaths for the entertainment of the masses. Except not all of them want to go! We have a runner! The ominously dressed in black “sandmen” are giving chase! And they shoot flash powder? Wow, the cops in this world are rather sadistic, shooting flash powder until the “criminals” commit suicide? And then they clean up by turning the body into meat paste (hey wait, I’ve always wondered where they got the meat for the burritos at the UC). So yes, Logan loots the body and then goes to obliterate all traces of the man’s existence. Unfortunately for him, the computer is also an asshole. It first tells him that no, people are NOT being renewed, and then it steals his four remaining years so that he has to do what the computer wants him to (aka find all the people that have ever escaped and eliminate them). So what does he do? Goes to the people he’s been hunting. His rational as to why they should trust him? “Now it’s different, because it’s my life.” Best line of the movie. Logan is an ass. So yes, long story short they end up on the run and what the hell? Orgy room? Yeah. Makes for a good distraction. At this point I’m starting to smell misogyny. I yelled at Jessica. Woman, do not cave to male pressure! Holly is an idiot. She’s not worth yelling at. Oh, and apparently Logan can only shoot other Sandmen. Inside joke from Skiffy: They shot half of this movie in Morton. And smells like Tucker. And then we have Sun! Yes, these fools don’t know what the sun is. So, wander around the country aimlessly until you find..Washington! And in the capitol building is an old cat man. I love the old guy who constantly quotes TS Elliot. I will still swear that he’s a homeless man they picked up of the street and paid in boozes, though. How the heck does he become humanities best hope at the end of the story? Eh, anyways.
So, there you have it, Logan’s Run in a nutshell. I hope you enjoyed it. I know I did (which is surprising since I watched it in Skiffy). It’s time for me to go to bed now. I’ll see you all later!
Remember, continuity flaws will be overlooked by your audience if you show female nudity.